Some days, the reality that I am studying abroad hits me in the face. The idea that holy shit the dream that I’ve had since I was a little girl is now reality. Let me tell you, it’s quite an overwhelming sensation.
Then self-doubt and anxiety creep into my head: am I doing what I expected? Am I having the best time I can? The pure ecstasy that I felt in one moment is now shadowed by imaginary concerns that materialize. This is not unique to studying abroad either. It happens with just about every situation and if you’re anything like me, it happens an annoying amount of times.
It’s a little voice of doubt, almost like having FOMO to some imagined, intangible expectation of what should be. Why am I questioning if I’m having fun? Why is my definition of joy based on some comparative principle of: is this the best time I could be having? I want desperately to be in the moment and enjoy this amazing opportunity, but my mind is filled with doubt and worry, why? How do I get these concerns out of my mind and just focus on what I’m doing?
I feel like I’m comparing my experience to some unrealistic standard based on society’s evaluation of my reality.
To be honest, it’s something I’ve always struggled with feeling guilty for not appreciating what I’m doing to the fullest.
A big part of my time abroad has been learning to quiet that little doubting feeling.
I try to be positive and look at life in moments. To be in the moment, as cliché as that sounds. My mother has always focused on taking a step back and gaining a new perspective. Being the daughter of a rather earthy, spiritual mom, I took her advice for granted, kind of just brushing it off until recently.
Now, this focusing on centering myself and being aware of my perspective has become integral to my identity.
So, if you struggle with doubts, worries or anxieties in moments where you wish you were more focused on your fun experience, try these simple 5 steps.
Five easy steps to quieting that doubting voice:
1. Think about where you are. Pick up on the sensations –colors, sounds, smells.
2. Honor who you’re with. Feel the warmth of their presence and admire their being in that moment with you. (If you’re alone, honor the solitude. Be grateful for your health, your mind, and your independence. The beauty of isolation.)
3. Meditate on the innerworkings of that moment. Since you’ve taken a few seconds to think about your surroundings and ground yourself, live in it. Embrace all you’ve noticed.
4. Pick one thing, big or small, about the moment that gives you joy. Visualize it.
5. Pinch yourself (lightly of course) and smile. Smile with intention, knowing that the moment you are in makes you happy.
When the doubt creeps in or FOMO becomes seemingly all consuming, take a breath and focus on the moment. Just realize that life is a compilation of moments and this one is for your design. You are the perceiver of your reality. So, follow these quick five steps and set your new perspective for that moment. It is a moment and can last as long as you wish, until you recognize the next moment and repeat the steps.
This all being said, please bear in mind that I am not a professional and am in no way a psychologist, but I have a lot of emotions, worries, and doubts. These steps work for me. I hope they do for you too 🙂
Em n Jules in OZ 